Archive for the ‘Not Law Related’ Category

Former File Clerk Makes Good

November 19th, 2007 by Jeff Knapp

Former Cuyler Burk file clerk, Andrew Durkin, had another 59 seconds of fame last week as one of his compositions “Anger Management Classes” (as performed by his band, Industrial Jazz Group) was featured as bumper music on NPRs Talk of the Nation.

“‘Recess.’ As if we’re in elementary school. Wow, remember, like, kickball?”

November 19th, 2007 by Jeff Knapp

Imagined Monologue: “An Inarticulate, Self-Consciously Ironic Voice of His Twentysomething Generation Makes an Opening Statement for His Client in a Corporate-Fraud Case.

Over the next few weeks, the prosecution is going to trot out a lot of so-called “experts” and “witnesses” and “my bitter ex-girlfriends”—kidding! Except how crazy if Kelly or Jennifer actually did come in and was like, “You should totally vote guilty…”? Anyway, I urge you to ignore them as you would a call on your cell from your parents badgering you about getting a real job, until you finally go to law school more out of resentment and desperation than any real desire to study the justice system and make a difference, even though, sure, given the choice of making a difference or not, I’d take the former, but still …”

You Don’t Have to Split the Baby

November 14th, 2007 by Donna Schwartz

Who says that childbirth and work do not go together? I am proof that it does. One year and nine days after I joined the Firm as an associate, I was sitting at my desk completing a memo for the partner who sat next door on a day that would begin the life of child number two.

Child number one (referring to birth order only, of course) was already four and the nesting aspect of growing my family was no longer a novelty. There was work to be finished at the office so it really didn’t matter that I was already nine days late when I stumbled into the office on the Birthday.

Things get a little fuzzy after that.

Some nameless partner – who wasn’t even in the office that day – tells everyone that my water broke. (Not really – it was just old fashioned labor pains. ) I tried to walk it off at first. Then someone noticed my strange grunts and doubled over posture and decided it was time to send our paralegal my way to see if she could help. I was confused – since I had no project for her and I was not carrying a heavy box of documents – until she mentioned that she was a nurse offering to check my vital signs and, most importantly, to time my contractions. At five minutes apart, she thought it was time to call an ambulance – but I told her that my husband, who my girls and I sometimes affectionately call “Slow Joe” was on his way to take me to the hospital. The rest is history.

Child number two is now 7. At least one of the cases that was sitting on my desk on the Birthday is still on my desk calling for attention much the same way my daughter called for my attention 7 years ago. Though it’s often difficult to balance family and work and it sometimes feels like you are reliving the pains of labor or “splitting the baby”, Cuyler Burk has proven that there is room for both.

This blog is dedicated to all of the working mothers, including our dearly departed paralegal, Nancy Sauer, who came to my aid on September 18, 2000.

“One word, people: Synergize.”

November 6th, 2007 by Jeff Knapp

Imagined Monologue: “My Workplace Eulogy, as Given by My Boss, in Office Jargon.

“… It has been said you’re either an assister or a resister. Eric Feezell was the former, and needed to meet his early demise like I need a hole in the head. Of the bananas we’ve got, he was definitely more of the green variety, still fairly new to the ways of things. Irregardless, he will be greatly missed.”